It's been a long time since I've updated my blog.
I was busy being pregnant! Where did the time go? I remember Kai and I saying, "I wonder how Mateo will look like." Now he's here, he's already a month old, and growing so much everyday. Whenever Mateo wakes up from a nap, he looks like he grew during his sleep! I'm already freaking out about how much he's growing because I love how little he is, but the more he grows, the more I thank God that I have a healthy baby boy.
My pregnancy was something I wanted to share with everybody, but I felt like it was better to keep it private between me, my family, and my close friends. I kept hesitating to post a picture on social media, but I always changed my mind. What's the deal with posting every bit of your life on social media anyway? I never understood that. I know every woman handles their pregnancy different, but to me, I felt more free with my pregnancy being kept quiet.
Nine months went by so fast. I told myself everyday that Mateo will be here sooner than later. I felt like he was going to come early and he did! Ten days early. It's most likely because I started walking six miles everyday a month before he was due. Thanks to my mother for pushing me. After those six miles, my hips felt like they were going to fall apart, but it's all worth it at the end. My labor and delivery was short and quick. I was scared from reading those horror stories of woman being in labor in delivery for over 24 hours. I was determined that was not going to be me. My mother had quick deliveries with me and my sisters, so I hoped that was passed down to me. Is that a myth? I'm not sure.
After Mateo was born, my mother instincts were turned on. Everything came naturally and it was beautiful seeing Kai and I become parents. We learn something new everyday, gaining wisdom from my mother who came to help. When help is offered, accept it! Especially as new parents. As they say, "It takes a village to raise a child." I want Mateo to grow around his family and experience the love that we give him.
Right when I found out I was pregnant, I knew I was having a boy! I felt it in my soul, so I started thinking about boy names. I wanted a biblical name, but in Spanish (so my parents can pronounce it right without their Spanish accent, lol). Kai kept saying we were going to have a girl though. After our 20 week ultrasound that revealed the gender, I rubbed it in Kai's face because since day one, our baby was a boy. My baby Mateo Guerrero Wright! His middle name is my maiden name, Lopez-Guerrero. It means "warrior" in Spanish. I wanted something strong and powerful. I actually didn't want him to have a middle name, but I changed my mind towards the end of my pregnancy. People usually asked me, "Don't you want him to have Kai's name or his middle name?" I honestly have nothing against naming a child after their mom or dad, but I really wanted my first born to have his own unique name. I guess that's just me being extra symbolic/serious/deep.
Motherhood is beautiful! It's not easy. It's overwhelming. Stressful too, but it's worth it. So worth it. I grew life inside of me. I'm able to feed my son with what my body is producing naturally. I can't tell you how grateful I am. How thankful I am for what God has given me and Kai. God gave me the ability to grow Mateo in my belly for nine whole months, give birth to him, and see him grow. It's so... I can't even think of the word. I ask myself, "How?" How is this all real? It's real because God is real. It's amazing what my body can do and what it can handle. Being uncomfortable the last month of pregnancy, the painful contractions, the healing process after birth, breastfeeding, sleepless nights, emotionally connecting deeper with my husband, there's so much that life gives. Whenever I get too emotional and stressed out, God reminds me in the situation that I am in. I'm blessed to be a stay-at-home mother. I get to spend everyday with Mateo. Whatever Mateo goes through, I'm here to help him. I'm here to guide him. Everyday is new to Kai and I. We are figuring this out together as a family.
It's hard for me to make any of this sense to you (unless you're a parent). All I know is that I'm doing my best everyday to be a good mother to Mateo, with God's help of course. I know that he's growing in a loving home with a hard working papa.
That's all that matters. Family, love, and God.